Harry Potter sexual innuendos.

harryfuckingpotter:


“What d’you mean, I’m not brave in bed?” said Harry, completely nonplussed. 

“…I know you did Mark Evans two nights ago —”
“He was asking for it,” snarled Dudley.

“I heard you last night,” said Dudley breathlessly. “Talking in your sleep. Moaning.

“Ah well…wand still in your jeans?” 

“JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE ALLOWED TO USE MAGIC NOW YOU DON’T HAVE TO WHIP YOUR WAND OUT FOR EVERY TINY LITTLE THING!”
“You two just Apparated on my knees!”
“Yeah, well, it’s harder in the dark —” 

“There was a groan of bedsprings, and Harry’s mattress descended a few inches as George sat down near his feet.
“So, got there yet?” said George eagerly.

“…screwing up her eyes each time with the same pained expression she had worn back in Harry’s bedroom.” 

“Ron was lying sprawled on his back with his mouth wide open.”
“Quite astonishing, the way you contrive to wriggle out of very tight holes.” 

“He’s having a go at my mother!” Seamus yelled.

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    oh sweet jeez .. major lolz.
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  7. heynubcake reblogged this from harryfuckingpotter and added:
    Here’s a huge “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID” for you.
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  10. plasticwall reblogged this from harryfuckingpotter and added:
    omg i’m not going to look at harry potter the same way ever again.
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  13. pouretrebelle reblogged this from harryfuckingpotter and added:
    instant reblog haha
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